The Fine Art of of Not Caring

November 12, 2019

One of the nicest gifts that comes with aging is just not giving a fuck about a ton of things. An easy example, when I hear something new about how we’re destroying the planet, and yes I care, I turn the stress meter down just a tad when I hear the dates and firmly know I’ll be ashes in the wind. That doesn’t mean I stop taking care of the planet, I do my part but know I won’t be here. Since I made the best decision ever not to have children, well I just try to let it go just a bit and know all I can do is the best I can while I’m still here.

Read More

What an Honor

November 11, 2019

I write these words on Veterans Day, it’s hard not to reflect on this day since I am a Veteran and so was my father. I was born on an Army base, never seemed in the least bit odd to me growing up. While I didn’t get the pleasure of being a traditional military brat, I have had my whole life intertwined with it in one way or another. My father didn’t fare too well with his two enlistments in the Army, in the end, he was 100% disabled. That’s the man I grew up knowing and visiting at the VA Hospital. I spent many a birthday there, creating a few triggers for me.

Read More

The Compounding of Loss, Grief, and the Dominoes of Death

November 9, 2019

It’s not like people haven’t died your whole life, they have. It’s just they seem far and few between and you were younger and stronger so that didn’t seem real. You were out there in life attacking it with all the gusto that you have in your twenties and thirties.  Then in your late forties early fifties, around the time of menopause, they start dying in bulk. You don’t know it at the time that it’s the first domino in a long train of loss.

Read More

How We Let Go of Things

May 23, 2019

Most often the challenge in letting go of our possessions is because of our emotional ties and memories we hold with each item we have in our collection.  Just like our life tends to have a soundtrack so do our closets, garages, and draws.  Every item has its story, a history.

So the very first step is to be gentle with yourself as you make your deletions. I’ve found it’s very often a journey down memory lane.  So, it’s important to take your time through the experience.

The first purge tends to be daunting and fully overwhelming if you try to take on too much at one time. It’s better to eat slowly and take small bites.

I usually recommend starting in your garage or storage unit first. Logic, well these are not in your daily rotation so they’ve already been downgraded in your personal hierarchy of importance. If your time is limited take a section at a time each week.  Once your garage is sorted it will become your transition area.

Read More


May 1, 2019

“Reflections of The way life used to be…”

Lost Dreams – The regrets we die with.
Lost Loved Ones – Living with the holes left by loved ones who have died.
Lost Me – That moment when you realize you are still you but trapped in an old body.

It seems like all of these stockpiles as we age and at some point, the price is kinda high and can definitely pull us towards the rabbit hole. I can honestly say when all mine hit at one time I lived right on the rabbit hole and still haven’t fully found my way back.

The one thing I can see clearly now is that your network of friends is so very important at this place. It’s especially nice if you have some of the people who have known you a long time who can remind you of you. New relationships at this point are just harder to embrace, it’s like a meal without seasoning, it tastes okay but it’s missing some flavor and well it’s the flavor that makes the meal.

Read More

How to accept aging

March 24, 2019

When you are in the thick of your body changing it really does feel like why is this happening to me! But we have to remind ourselves, it happens to everyone if you stay alive on this planet.

So one of the things I found that helped me was looking at someone I didn’t know that had gone through it. So I looked at famous women.  I found a famous woman in her seventies and looked at their photos from the twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, and seventies.  While she still might look great you’ll see that her body has changed over the years. Sometimes visuals just make it easier to recognize the changes are normal.

Read More